Category Archives: Weird musings

Things I Wish I Knew 10 Years Ago

At the full moon party on Ko Pha-Ngan, July 2001

The other day an old friend asked me what I would say to my younger self now if I had the chance. At the time, I just came up with ‘Don’t worry so much’ and although that’s valid, there is more.

It’s now 10 years since I went backpacking across Australasia and South East Asia in my gap year then started university at Sheffield. My path has meandered, faltered and changed but I now have the kind of life I only could have dreamed of back then.

This is what I would actually say:

Work hard, play hard Find a job you love and work hard every day you’re there. When you’re not working, forget about it and enjoy the money you earn. Know when to stop and go on holiday.

A degree isn’t everything No-one will care what mark you got in 10 years time.

Spend your money on experiences, not stuff Travel, go to the cinema, get drunk with your friends, go for afternoon tea, go to galleries… whatever makes you smile. Coveting stuff doesn’t work.

If someone really likes you, you’ll know It will be immediately obvious in everything they do and say. They won’t run the risk of you disappearing off with someone else.

You can’t fake it You can’t make someone like you or find a way if it’s just not right.

Don’t sweat the break-ups Do your mourning, then move on. You’ll break up with every boyfriend apart from one (maybe) and you’ll survive them all.

If you ever live with a boy, get a cleaner It saves so many pointless arguments and frees up time for fun stuff.

Be good with money The stress of debt is so not worth it.

Only hang out with people who make you feel good about yourself Lose the ones that make you feel tired, bored, miserable or stupid. Life is too short to spend with anyone who doesn’t make you feel amazing.

Be authentic Say what you think, explain what you feel, be who you are and be honest. Keep your word.

Look after yourself. It’s worth the effort Exercise, sleep enough, eat well, spend time by yourself, let it go sometimes.

Say yes to every opportunity you can You can always change your mind later if it turns out to be a bad move. At least you won’t wonder what could have been.

Go hard If it’s worth it, put everything in to it. If it’s not, walk away.

And finally:

Lighten up Lose the drama and get on with it.

My 18th birthday

it’s all about thriving

I wear my heart on my sleeve. If I’m unhappy you can tell. I stop yoga, I can’t be bothered to dress nicely, I eat crap, I sleep too much and talk too little.

On the flip side, when I’m happy, I buzz with energy and have a seemingly unlimited supply. This can get on peoples nerves but it allows me to keep going at the pace I like.

I get told to slow down a lot, be calmer, keep it steadier… But that’s not at all me.

I love the rhythm I have and all it allows me to achieve with my time. I have a lot to say for myself and don’t want to be quieter or take a more gentle approach. It might all go wrong at some point but you know what? I’ll deal with that as and when.

The definition of thriving is this:

to grow or develop well or vigorously; to prosper; to flourish

Doesn’t that sound amazing? Why would you not want that? It literally took me years to figure out that sitting quietly in the corner got me absolutely nowhere. And it was pretty boring.

What’s the point if you don’t strive to give everything your all?

My ladies - 10 years on and better than ever.

What a difference two years make…

I’m here, up a mountain in Turkey, doing yoga for a holiday with one of my best friends, who I didn’t even know two years ago.

Two years ago, I was crying my heart out, throwing a rubbish selection of stuff in to a bag and leaving behind a gorgeous flat, half my friends and a fair amount of my pride.

Fast forward to here and I have a world of things to be grateful for: a job I love that I never would have thought myself capable of, an amazing group of new friends, a whole new attitude and the kind of happiness I didn’t think possible.

So this is my small prayer of thanks for the tough times that lead me here and all the people who bought me through it.

And an extra special mention to the person who sat there right at the beginning, reminding me that to get more than you ever hoped for, you have to start by giving everything away.

Or in the words of Tyler Durden:

It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.

Much love x

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